The set readings for this week are Lamentations 1:1-6 and Luke 17:5-10 and, boy, are they hard!  Lamentations depicts Jerusalem as a broken wasteland, and in Luke Jesus reminds his disciples, "when you have done all that you were ordered to do, say, "We are worthless slaves; we have done only what we ought to have done!""  Wow!  This week we are worthless slaves, looking out over a wasteland...  I thought this religion thing was meant to be uplifting?  

It is, but first it's honest - and honestly, isn't that how it feels sometimes?  When we watch the news, or our friends going through tough times, or even in what we ourselves are at times called to carry... life can feel like a wasteland, and it can leave us feeling like weary, beaten, worthless slaves.

And yet, perhaps in that honesty is to be found some sort of release from it?  

I have a bible in my study that I was given when I was ordained as a Priest.  And on the front of that bible is the seal of the Archbishop of York - around the edge of which is the text 'Unworthy Servant of the most worthy Lord'.  I find that, in that context, those words take on a new meaning.  Not because they seem to be a necessary reminder at the top of any hierarchy, but because they seem to me to be a truth that John Sentamu has internalised, lived by, and blessed others through - that he is a servant of the most worthy Lord.  It becomes, when it is lived out, not a put down, but a call to action.

When we take that truly on board it reminds us about God - that he, and only he, is the most worthy - that he is before all, through all, and after all.  That he alone is worthy of praise and worship.

And that reminds us something about ourselves - it strips us of our arrogance, our self-importance, our demands to rights, and sense of entitlement.

And those two things put together, maybe, restore our perspective - perhaps they free us from our demands and expectations of how things should be; and remind us that our value comes not from how we are treated, or how well things are going, but from being loved by the most holy, most glorious and wonderful.

Then maybe our response to ourselves, God, and the world can become one of gratitude instead of entitlement; of giving and serving instead of demanding and taken; of patient endurance instead of anger and railing... Maybe it means that in the wilderness the worthless slaves can know themselves loved, and notice the flowers growing in the dust.

Pause for prayer:  You might not need to do this, but if it helps... it's time for some honesty.  If you're in the wasteland tell God how you're really feeling right now - don't hold back, he can take it.  If there is anger, frustration, hurt or pain, throw it at him.  

When you're done, when it's all out, pause for a moment, and let the silence be.  Listen.  If you can, hear yourself, feel yourself, know yourself loved.

Now take the time to look for the flowers.  Or even just a flower.  What is there right now that is good, holy, pure?  However small, notice it, it is of infinite value - treasure it, and give thanks.

(Remember, whilst it's great to talk to God, it's also really helpful to talk to other people - if you are carrying something major, please don't hesitate to talk to a friend, GP, or counselor, or priest)