This week's readings are Genesis 28:10-19a and Matthew 13:24-30, 36-43 .

The Genesis reading carries on the account of our new 'hero' Jacob - having cheated his brother Esau out of his birthright, and a blessing from his father we find him on the run. Esau realising how much he's lost has vowed in his anger to kill Jacob - and so he has fled to try and find shelter with extended family until his brother has calmed down.  We meet him on the first night in the wilderness, alone - and with nothing more comfortable for a pillow than a stone.

It's hard not to imagine him a little desperate, fearing for his future, wondering what will become of him.  Will he even survive this dash through the wilds?  Remember it was Esau who was at home here - Jacob has always hung around at home, on Rebekah's apron strings cooking stew...  But we've learned some things by now in this story, and one of them is that God follows through on his promises, and seems to have a thing for down-and-outs.

As he heard the cry of the cast-out Ishmael in the wilderness, so now he comes to minister to Jacob; as he blessed the younger son Isaac, so now he reiterates the promise of a prosperous future for the younger son Jacob.  This time, though, God makes a promise that is more than general - he gets personal, binding himself as a companion to Jacob on his journey:

'Know that I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.'

It's no wonder that Jacob wakes up not only refreshed physically, but seemingly overflowing with spiritual enthusiasm to boot.  He bounds out of bed, sets up an altar - and rewrites the map - renaming the place from 'Luz' (the Canaanite name) to 'Bethel', literally 'House of God'.  

It looks, then, like he's got out of bed a new man - fraud replaced by faith, the convict become conqueror.

If only.

As so often happens, the canny editing of scripture to make neat Sunday readings robs us of the sting in the tale.  The story doesn't end where our reading does, it goes on for a verse or two more,

'Then Jacob made a vow, saying, ‘If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father’s house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God, and this stone, which I have set up for a pillar, shall be God’s house; and of all that you give me I will surely give one-tenth to you.’'

Notice that word 'If' right at the beginning of Jacob's speech.  Shakespeare once wrote 'much virtue in "if"', not so here.  God has literally just offered everything to Jacob, free of charge - but Jacob the trickster can't help himself from being himself.  If an offer looks too good to be true, as he knows well, then it probably is - so he, not God, makes their new relationship conditional.  Not willing to take the promise on trust he adds in conditions.  If  God sees him safely home, then he will give God his life and devotion.  Oh no, sorry, then he will give God 10%...

Then there's the act of renaming Luz to Bethel.  On the one hand, of course, is a foreshadowing of the fulfilment of God's promise - this land is to be Jacob's, so it is of course his to rename... but is there not a darker tone here foreshadowing the conflicts, and genocides to come?  Conquerors through the ages have robbed the conquered of their lands by renaming them.  And his choice of name - 'Bethel' - is a little odd to me, literally 'The House of God'.  God has just told him he will be travelling with him, and Jacob's response is to decide that here is where God lives, as though here is where he is going to stay?

So no, I don't think we have here a man of faith, striding forth into the glorious promises of God.  I think we have a man who cannot see beyond his own conniving nature to accept that God would do something for him for nothing; a man who limits the God of the universe to a single special place; a man who is willing to offer God not everything, but plans to let him have a 'generous' 10% if , and only if, God proves to be trustworthy...

But, like last week, despite the downright humanness of it all, it works - this ignoble beginning moves the story forward, paves the way for God's blessing to flow not only to Jacob, but to his family, who become a people, who inherit the promised land, who found a dynasty, who birth the Messiah, through whom everyone, everyone, is blessed and brought home.

Reassuring isn't it? The fulfilment of God's plans relies not on human faithfulness but on His own.  His blessing relies not on our generosity, but on His own.  His presence in and through the world persists even when we try to tie him down to one time and place.  There's nothing we can do to get in the way of God, but everything to be gained by getting alongside him - even in the midst of our failings and imperfections.

So don't ever let worrying about being perfect stop you from getting on with being good.  Don't wait to be rid of all doubts to start being faithful.  Don't let your dedication to seeking God here blind you to his presence right beside you.  If God can work what he does through a man like Jacob, then there's no imagining what he can do through someone as wonderful as you!

Be gentle with yourself, and let God pick up your slack - he's strong enough to do it; and I suspect he'll make you stronger in the process.